You Thought Life Was Crazy Before?
by MySoufulMelody
Summary: The cast of Naruto have found their way into Wonderland, the land originally crafted by Lewis Carroll. Taking the places of the original characters, and things get anymore insane? Apparently the can.
1. Prologue

Those who are insane remain hidden for a very obvious reason: to protect what little sanity rests in the mind of the semi-sane. Though the line between our two worlds is invisible, there are those few unfortunate souls who stumble into the realm overrun by the abnormal. Mystery clouds over the mind, driving many mad. Common sense no longer exists in this world –your intuition must be your guide. As you may be able to tell from this brief summary, I know much about this rarely mentioned topic. Even so, there is much that I still need to learn. Do you want to learn about this hidden realm? Than continue to read this novel. As I continue to write you will learn about _my_ version of Wonderland. Well, enough about me. I am simply the narrator, capturing these twisted moments. Well, that, and to do my best to annoy the cast!

* * *

"About time you brought us in!" cries out a tall male with shimmering blond hair. Approaching behind me, his sky blue eyes narrow in confusion as he attempts to read my words. Scanning over the page, the lines located at the kitsune's cheeks crumple as his pale lips fall into a scowl. "You're not making this story sound emo, like Sasuke-teme! And you're adding way too many confusing words, believe it!" Intent on taking over, his hands lash out towards the poor, little pen. Suddenly, tension fills the air. Even so, I send a small smile relief in the direction of the infamous Sasuke Uchiha, who is now holding back an enraged Naruto.

"As if you could do any better, baka," the Uchiha spits out, obviously annoyed by the blonds' comment. The boy's bangs fall long, obsidian eyes peering out from beneath, glinting with annoyance. The back is spiked upwards, most likely with the aid of more hairspray than your average teenage boy can afford. To help form an easier picture in the minds of my readers, it pleases me to say that the style reminds me of the rear of a duck. "You just can't be nice, can you?" he cringes as I read this piece of work aloud. A devious smirk darkens my features, jade eyes sparkling mischievously. Abrupt laughter fills the room. It seems that Sasuke is the only one who finds annoyance in my creativity.

"'Tis only the way of being an author. These people want to hear the truth!" I exclaim, the sound of my own voice foreign to my ears. Truly, they don't even know half of these _truths_ that I have planned for them. Finally, their chatter reaches my ears, and I dread to even think about what they're bickering about this time. Damn actors and their competitive spirit. Than again, I realize what it must be like for them, wondering what fate has planned. Despite all of my annoyance in this, I take it as my responsibility as a narrator to record their words! Determination sparks in my eyes as I start to write.  
"The lead is all mine!"  
"No way, b-"  
"Watch your tongue!"  
"Are we going to start this anytime soon? I'm hungry."  
"Give it up already!"  
Lightly sighing, I give up in further eavesdropping. It's nothing tear-jerking nor heart-throbbing, so why bother? Actually, it's rather annoying. Without my full awareness, the words _shut up_ part from my lips. As the room fall silent, relief spreads across my face. It didn't last all too long though: a girl slightly taller than myself straightened her stance, preparing herself to ask that very question that I was dreading.

"So, are you going to inform us about our roles?" she innocently asks, excitement suppressed in her voice. As her green eyes reflect her curiosity, she continues on, "I-I got the part of Alice, right?" I examine the girl, annoyance clear on my face. Pale, pink hair nearly rests on her bare shoulders, loose strands scattering across her larger-than-average forehead. Garbed in an assortment of pinks and browns, it appears that Ms. Haruno appears to take more care in her appearance than she lets on. Her comment forms a soft smile on lips, which instantly lifts her spirits. I crush that all with a few simple words.

"Sorry, but I'm not informing anyone of their roles until the last possible moment, but, "I take a pause here, hoping to add a dramatic effect. It did. "Well, here's one slight piece of information for you. The person who got Alice doesn't have such an abnormal hair colour, nor as annoying a voice," a mocking smile forms on my lips as Sakura's expression fades from joy, to shame, and than to rage. I have to admit that I hate being rude to people, but I can't help it at times, almost as if I have a freaky split personality. Ignoring the curses and glares that are directed at me, I gap as I realize that I am narrowly at the end of my current paper supply, which can only mean one thing: the prologue is near it's end. The real story can soon begin! I can feel their eyes trail be as I rush over to the room than holds all of the costumes, their anxiety strong in the air.

"She'd better be grabbing a costume for me," quietly mutters blond, self-assured that he has some role of strong importance. He'll find out _very_ soon just how important his part is. Picking out the appropriate costume, I rush back as soon as I can, pastel blue clothe visible from my grasp. All eyes widen, and a smile of my own touches my lips as I walk towards the unsuspecting Naruto. My eyes reflected my mockery from behind the curtain of my chestnut hair as I thrust the clothing into his empty arms. Gasps and laughter soon fills the room.  
"Better get ready," I softly laugh as I watch the boy pale, "You're the first one on!" He's the first one to appear, but also the first one to experience what extreme _my_ Wonderland can reach. From his point of you, it's probably everything but wonderful. Be careful what you wish for, Naruto, for you just might get it!

* * *

**Disclaimer: I own neither Alice in Wonderland nor Naruto, no matter how much I wish that I did!!  
Cuba: Well, here it is. First new story in about a year. Damn computer...  
Naruto: But now you're back and better than ever~ Believe it!!  
Cuba: *sighs* Think what you want! It's mostly cause this is the first idea that came to me in the midst of heavy writer's block...  
Naruto: It- Hey, wait a minute...-why did you give me _that_ role?! I need a more manly part!!  
Cuba: Well, it was not only the request of a friend, but what I thought would have been perfect...  
Sasuke: I agree with her~ This part seems to fit you to a "T".  
Naruto: Put a sock in it, teme! **


	2. Underground

Sitting happily underneath a Sakura tree, there lay an attractive blond who is feasting on a cup of instant ramen. Not a pretty sight if you ask me. The girl's pale, blond hair flutters slightly because of the sudden rush of wind, her blue eyes sparkling with contentment. Wow, eating ramen can apparently make everything more bearable for this teen –wearing a dress included. Our brave hero, or rather _heroine_, had tossed aside his bright orange attire for something more a little more fitting for a lady of his status. Though, a pastel blue dress with a snow white apron and excessive ruffles may not have been his first choice.

"You can say that again," he softly mumbles, tossing aside an empty cup. Annoyance reflects in his features as he sends a glare to the book that lay beside him. The book is entitled Alice in Wonderland. "I still don't get why I have to read this: it's pointless. Reading is pointless," Reluctantly picking up the mentioned book; he flips it open to a random page. "You really s- Oh! Pictures!" and with that, the young Alice's curiosity sparks as he attempts to analyze the picture, even as it appears up-side down.

A sudden rustle from amongst the leaves causes Naruto to drop the book, enticing the boy. Curiosity takes over his thoughts as he inches towards the movement, already forgetting about the events from before. This boy's mind truly is like a train-track after all: only one idea allowed to pass through his mind at a time. A white blur hops out of the grassy underbrush, colour the only thing visible. Even so, his words are audible enough to hear and comprehend.

"I'm late once again. What shall be my excuse this time? I was mesmerized by the falling sakura blossoms?" the familiar voice of one of our favourite senseis is heard as the man contemplates aloud. This definitely captures the blond's attention. He starts to race after the rabbit, arms pinned to his sides to prevent the dress from flying up.

"Kakashi-sensei's the rabbit guy? I _need_ to see this!" he exclaims, picking up his pace immensely. Yet, no matter how fast the boy runs, it appears that he never gets any closer. Than, without warning, the rabbit disappears –no smoke effects included. "H-Hey! Not cool sensei!" he cries out, not enraged, "You do this to me enough already!" He falls to the grassy floor, fists pounding the ground. Naruto is _so_ lady-like, is he not?

After a few minutes of this, the kitsune jumps back to his feet. Dusting himself off, fire sparked in his eyes. The chase resumes once more as he runs.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki, the future Hokage (does that still work with this plot?)!! Some stupid Kakashi rabbit won't get the best of me that easily, believe it!" Upon his next advance, something strange happens. The blond keeps waiting for his foot to meet ground, yet it does not arrive. Lying in place of ground is a smallish hole –a rabbit hole. Plummeting into the darkness, Naruto's legs lead him down the curving path. Curses part from the boy's lips miles a minute, obviously not content with the surprise he received. The world seems to rush by him, only catching figments of the falling terrain around him, everything else appears as a blur. His speed keeps increasing, now falling into a straight out drop. Panic swells upon the young boy's face as he begins to claw for a way to slow himself. Naruto is not prevailing.

Than all of a sudden it stops. There was no sign –not even the slightest indicator. Yet Naruto rest there, stuck in the entranceway, legs dangling beneath him. Freedom rest just out of his reach. Kicking his legs frantically, the kitsune attempts desperately for to slide to the end. As laughter fills the air, Naruto's suspicion arises.

"You really should lay off the ramen, Naruto, for than you wouldn't be in this predicament." Footsteps heard from below, it's quite clear that the figure is pacing. "Naruto, Naruto…." A sigh escapes from the man's lips, seeming to hide a laugh, "or, do you go by Alice now?" Upon realization of the figure, Naruto's attempts to slip from his current height increases, the ends of the dress swaying with his movements. Two words can describe Naruto's current attitude –flustered and fuming.

"Ebisu-teme, get me the hell down from here!" The boy's booming voice echoes in the world above him, but below, it spears as a mere whisper in comparison. Hearing no response upon his own, the kitsune continues, that is, until one of the flats slip from its owner's foot, plummeting downwards and knocking both the sensei and his glasses to the ground.

Than by wonder, Naruto finds himself falling once more, finally free of the trap where he once lay. The impact was quite simple, for Ebisu cushions the kitsune's fall. The man's chestnut hair rests unruly; his newly retrieved glasses placed obscure upon his nose. The blond's laughter erupts once again for an even larger reason than the condition of his face –it's for the hazel attire in which this sensei ports. Ears of a mouse are placed atop of his head, and a matching tail attached to his rear. With all of these apparent features, his role as the mouse is quite clear.

"Y-You really shouldn't wear a dress…" indicates Ebisu with a shaky voice, interrupting the kitsune's thoughts. Pushing the boy off of him, Ebisu hastily gets to his feet in an attempt to regain both his composure and his dignity. Upon the comment, the younger boy's anger substantially rises, resulting in a punch of the jaw-line to the older of the two.

"Now I get why girls are so pissed off whenever I mention something like that," Naruto manages to spit out through his clenched teeth. Even upon this comment, I doubt that being in a girl's position will change his natural boy's instinct. Finally taking in his surroundings for the first time since he's reached ground, a gasp of what I take to be amazement parts from his lips.

"Where the hell am I?!" he cries out in desperation, eyes widening as he races around. What I mistook for amazement seems to be confusion, perhaps laced with the iciness of fear. Running to every possible wall, Naruto places a hand on each one if only to make sure that they are truly there. "This wasn't supposed to happen! Neither was falling down a fricking rabbit hole!" Spinning around, the boy jabs a finger in the direction of his overly calm companion, "-And neither was meeting you, believe it!" Within each passing moment, the boy grows more and more frantic while in comparison, Ebisu simply stands there, eyes gleaming with amusement from behind his tinted glasses. Now, as we all should know, Naruto has never been the patient type, or quite logical for that matter. As he attempts to build up his rasengan (in an attempt to deteriorate the walls), a malicious smirk rests hidden, protected by this very sheet of paper. I can't wait to see Naruto reaction~

"What?!" the boy cries out as if on cue, biting his tongue to prevent any curses to part from his lips. There, within his grasp, lay a small potions bottle, no larger than a thimble. He clenches it tightly in his grasp, uneasily parting the lid from its container. Inside there rests a liquid, a pearl white in colour. The scent smells of nothing, though it irritates ones nose. The Uzumaki lets out a sneeze. Bringing it up to his mouth, curiosity sparks in his eyes as he prepares himself to drink.

"I wouldn't drink that so carelessly if I were you," Ebisu's voice sounds from over the boy's shoulder. Taken by surprise, Naruto sputters up whatever liquid that was in his mouth.

"Why are you still here?!" the kitsune cries out, hating it when others surprise him. He clenches his fists, prepared to batter the mouse once more. "I don't need your help with this, so why don't you go die in a hole!?" With those very words, amusement plays upon Ebisu's lips. Pushing up his glasses as if to hide his eyes, the man prepares himself to reply.

"I'm simply here because I wish to be, though I'm also told to be here as well," he sluggishly replies , deciding to take one question at a time. "Also, last time I checked, we're already below ground, so your last request is void." With a satisfied smirk, he returns his gaze to Naruto (who could have easily made a come-back), still shocked by his strong resemblance to a female in his current state. Only, Naruto has lost interest towards Ebisu, his ears now perked up as if he's detecting the room for a specific sound.

"Oh God, _please _don't make me go back there! But I know that I have to, and she'll only be more enraged if I'm late!" Kakashi's voice sounds once more, fear piercing through his words. Adrenaline rushes through the blond's veins as he bee-lines it to the location of the rabbit. Only, it's too late –his sensei seems to have decreased in size in order to enter a door located near the flooring; one that's no larger than one's index finger. Naruto's expression alters from surprise to frustration in a mere second.

"Damn you, Kakashi-sensei!" The boy curses at the tiny red wooden door, angst filling his thoughts. Ebisu finds this moment to be an opportunity to be of aid, so he gently taps the boy on the shoulder.

"You know, you really should drink the potion from that vial. This whole situation would play out easier," the mouse suggests, face remaining emotionless. Naruto just looks at the man as if he's gone mad.

"You just told me not to drink it, baka!" the boy cries out in rage, the vial threatening to shatter in his grasp.

"Yes, I had told you not to drink it, but that was the past, and now is the present. Now I am telling you to drink it. The past has already gone by, so forget about. You must worry about the present above all," Ebisu slyly replies, taking note of the boy's lack of enthusiasm and overdose of confusion. A question seems to be forming on the boy's lips, but he simply pushes it aside. Reluctantly bringing the vial to his lips, Naruto hastily chugs the remainder of the potion, satisfied by the dull taste of ramen. That's when the unusual starts –Alice begins to shrink in size.

At first it's simply an inch or so, but soon the speed increases rapidly. Within seconds Naruto is no larger than the very vial he drank from. Relieving to many (except for the hardcore fan girls), the apron and dress shrink in size along with its owner. Looking at the world with sparkling, blue eyes, the thought of killing someone passes through the blond's mind –this was definitely not what he had bargained for. And to make matters worse, there stands a man beside him, the same size, inspecting the world with an expert eye.

"Interesting…"

"Why the hell are you tiny too?! It's one thing to trick me into this, but to be stuck with a pervert like you makes this 100 times worse, believe it!" with rage on his lips, the kitsune sends his elder a glare before making his way towards the small, red door in which his sensei had disappeared into. "I wonder where this leads," Naruto ponders aloud, not expecting an answer but knowing he'll receive one anyway.

Guessing correctly, Ebisu prepares himself to play his role as tour guide. He examines the door with dark eyes. "This door takes us to the first square; an immense garden if I remember correctly."

Curiosity taking over, Alice's hand brushes the doorknob before holding it in his grasp.

"First square, huh? And a garden at that?! It doesn't sound scary in the least! This will be all to easy to get through~" he comments, a smirk formed on his lips. With that said, the kitsune thrusts the door open, and a gasp gets caught in his throat upon sight of what lay behind the door.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own the amazing manga/anime known as Naruto, nor the land of Wonder in which the mad over rule!**

**Cuba: So that's another chapter done! Sorry to keep y'all waiting, and you'll probably hate me more if I mention this tiny detail…  
Naruto: That you had this stupid chapter done the moment you posted the prologue?!  
Cuba: *uneasy laughter* Uh, yah, that… (You weren't supposed to tell them!!)  
Naruto: (Screw that! You put me in an effing dress, and make me put up with that pervy sensei!)  
Ebisu: *blinks* Why do you two insist on communicating through brackets??  
Naruto: None of your f****** business!! D  
Cuba: *sweatdrop* Well, that's all. I'll attempt to post the next chapter soon (since it's more than half-way done already) More characters will be introduced, and I'll be having fun manipulating them! None the less, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	3. Flying Free Within the Green

"What a sight, hm?" Ebisu sighs, relief spreading across his features. A smile of amusement plays on his lips as he watches the younger of the two intake the image of the vast forest that lay in front of them. The scent of the forest itself irritated my nose, a sickly sweet tang hovering in the air. The trees stood tall, all flourished with a deep green. A viridian sweeps across the floor, exotic shades of purples, pinks, and oranges intertwining within the grand design. Though the cluster appears vibrant, it remains silent, and an eerie one at that.

"This forest is meant to be creepy, right?" Naruto's question is simply answered by a shrug. The kitsune shivers from the cold, but that does not stop the flow of words parting from his lips, "I'm not going to be get scarred and run off so easily because of _this_!" With those words, the blond's hands clench into fists and determination sparks within his eyes as he ventures forwards into the thick underbrush. It appears that the boy has forgotten his current height –one that is equal to that of a small bug. A caterpillar, perhaps.

Even the infamous Naruto Uzumaki cannot mask the anxiety that he's experiencing. In result, the boy is cautious not to tread on anything that may cause him harm, or may just plain out scare him. Gaze glued to the floor, the boy marches on in this manner. Alongside of him treads his companion, the brown-eared mouse. He is watching the boy intently behind shaded glasses, wondering if he'll crack under the stress.

They carried on in this fashion for quite some time. It only stopped as a small cracking of a branch is heard to Alice's right, which instantly causes the boy to grow weary. _Crack_. Annoyance reflects in his sapphire eyes, unable to comprehend the man's calm composure in this situation. _Crack_. Without thinking, as per usual, Naruto picks up a tiny stone and quickly tosses it in the direction of the stranger. A smirk forms on his lips as he hears the stone reach its target with a satisfying _click_.

"What in destiny did I do to deserve this?!" A tall brunette steps out from the protection of the underbrush, appearing rather infuriated. His hair falls long and freely, cutting off at the boy's waist. Lavender eyes glisten as he gently tosses the pebble in which he had been hit in one hand, while in the other lay a small contraption. His choice of clothing is quiet the show –a light blue being the base, while the outside and very interior are laced with oranges, violet and a fading green. The symbol which lay at his forehead appears more vibrant with this apparel.

"Neji, you're here too!" relief echoes through Naruto's voice, annoyance and fear already forgotten. Neji simply sighs, bring the small contraption to his mouth, and releases a steady stream of air from his lips. Bubbles start to appear, swirling around the boy. This immediately sets him at ease. Ebisu sends the brunette a questioning look as the kitsune sets off to pop the bubbles.

"I realize that I look quiet…-odd at the moment, but I had no choice in the matter!" the boy's fade out as his gaze falls upon himself, appearing ashamed. A set of antennas placed upon his head move slightly as he returns to look at the two, locking them within an icy gaze. "It was a psychotic girl who came after me with this costume and bubble blower. Don't laugh, for I swear that she was quite insane!" he focuses on Naruto, taking note of the inaudible laugh that almost parted from his lips. The brunette sighs for real, reluctantly continuing, "I was threatened multiple times to get into this attire, so seeing as I had no other choice," a frown plays on his lips. "Oh why must fate taunt me?" The two sent the caterpillar an exasperated glance as he creates more bubbles, a smile hidden on his lips.

"_I_ for one think that he doesn't mind it all too much," the blond softly muttered, gaze falling upon the bubbles that are rapidly filing the air. In turn, the kitsune begins to pop them all, hoping to gain back the brunette's attention. It worked.

"So Neji, I was just wondering if you c-" Naruto was cut off before he could ask a thing, much to the blond's annoyance. Neji's hand was raised slightly in the air, signaling silence, and the two played along. It wouldn't do well for anyone if Neji was infuriated.

"Naruto, I have no idea why I'm asking this," annoyance sparks in his eyes as his gaze drifts off to where I lay. I send him an encouraging smile in return, egging the boy on, "-but is there any chance that you could recite my favourite poem?" Both Ebisu and Naruto appeared stunned, and it took all of my self-control not to burst out into laughter. They stood there in confusion for quite some time, the caterpillar impatiently tapping his foot. "I said-"

"I know what you said! I'm not deaf, but _me_?! You must have gotten some of the germs from that psycho girl you were talking about, believe it," the blond's head continues to pound in confusion, unable to piece the randomness together. Little did he know that this was only the beginning. Neji looked offended by being called mad, but he did understand why. He simply sighed, pressing on in the issue.

"You Are Old Father William," the brunette sighed as he received a confusion glance from Alice. "That's the name of the poem," he easily states, as if it was the simplest thing in the word. Eyebrows ruffling in confusion, all watched Naruto intently as he prepared himself to quote this unknown poem –seeing as he had no other choice. He nervously cleared his throat, and the quoting began.

"You are old father William," Naruto's voice fades out after the simple statement known as the title, a snicker parting from the crowds' lips. The blond presses on as he begins to perspire, by doing the only thing that he knew how to do –making up the rest. "-yet you said you could kill them. We said you could not, but you did uh, fought, so we made you sit, and have some ramen, believe it!" Quite proud of his efforts, the blond examines the silenced crowd, a mix between confusion and utter fear upon their features. Not only did the poem not make any sense, but they did not understand the reasoning behind his pride.

The blond pushed those thoughts aside, mind drifting to a new topic, "So I quoted that stupid poem, now follow through on your side of the deal!" Naruto exclaimed, locking Neji within his gaze. The brunette appeared to be very puzzled.

"_My_ end of the bargain? I don't remember making a deal with you upon that," the boy's response is quite simple, but at the same time true. Naruto quickly dawned upon that. He appears to be growing frantic, the danger of resting this height finally reaching his equally as tiny brain.

"B-but you _have_ to! If I stay this small, I'll never be able to become Hokage or whatever important role there is in this messed up world. Heck, I'll never be able to _leave_! And to top it all off, I'll be stuck with you and pervy-sensei here-" at this point, Naruto begins to count, but quickly gives up as the amount surpasses the number of fingers that he possesses on one hand, "for, well, a _long _time!" The rage in the boy's voice was quite obvious, yet Neji did not appear fazed in the slightest. Angry perhaps, but he didn't seem sympathetic. Ebisu on the other hand was obviously offended, though he knew that this was not his moment to talk –yet. Having had enough, Naruto passes the boundaries of what appears reasonable in the eyes of many.

"Return me to normal size, or I'll cut off all of that hair that you seem to love so dearly!" Those words definitely caught Neji's attention. Bringing a hand to rest upon his head, the thought of losing all of his hair was too much or the brunette to tolerate. The air was quickly filled with an immense amount of bubbles, and a voice that was nearing hysteria.

"I'll abide your wishes," the caterpillar responds slowly, making sure that his words were heard easily and that they could not be mistaken for something else. Naruto's eyes started to gleam, excitement and relief clear on his face. "The method is actually quite simple," the brunette reluctant held up the container filled with the liquid that created his precious bubbles. In turn, all the kitsune could do was stare. Sighing, it was easy to tell that the boy strained himself not to force it down the other one's throat.

"You want to return to normal size?" Neji quickly questioned, already knowing the answer. He continued at as the other boy responded with an ecstatic nod. "Drink." With that final command, the brunette's hand was placed at the back of Naruto's head, the vial to his lips. Before he even had a moment to react, the liquid was being forced down Naruto throat. Vulgar in taste, he quickly pushed the caterpillar away upon drinking enough. Neji appears stone-faced, even as the bottle is empty; it impossible to recreate bubbles without it. Minutes pass before Naruto begins to complain, but that's when the odd happened.

It happened so quickly, I nearly missed it myself. A blinding light was what first envelopes the boy, not a clear white, but many colours. Soon afterwards, his height begins to increase; slowly at first, but before long, the speed rapidly increased. Than within mere minutes, the action was complete, and the other two felt quite small as Naruto towers from above.

"This is amazing!" Alice cries, a smile of pure joy kissing his lips. The trees finally appears to be quite normal in size, not the monsters that were over them before. Reaching out his hand towards a lower branch, he hesitantly reaches for a leaf, just to make sure that this is all true. As his hand meets the smooth feel, a holler parts from Naruto's lips, "Believe it!" Alice prepares himself to race forward, onto a small trail, yet something stalls him. A light weight added to both of his shoulders, which would not have been noticeable if he was not standing still.

"H-How did you get there?! " the questions burn on his tongue, confusion roaring in his mind. A light chuckle is heard from his left.

"The solution is simple enough –I flew," upon saying this, Neji stretched his new-found wings. Even as there is a beautiful pattern upon it, the set appeared quite delicate –translucent even. Naruto gawked at the butterfly in amazement –and maybe jealousy as well. None the less, Neji quickly says his farewells before taking off mere moments after. "I do not wish to be a part o the chaos that will soon follow this," he quietly mutters, taking himself higher into the trees. Naruto watches until the butterfly falls out of sight, and that's when he finally takes notice to the innocent humming on his other shoulder.

"What are _you_ doing here?! I thought I ditched you when you well, stayed small!" enraged, Naruto fights against the idea of tossing him far, far away, knowing that he'd somehow return to haunt him. A smile easily forms on the mouse's lips, but Naruto decides that it's best for his sanity if he simply ignores him. All bad things go away when you ignore them, right?

Something quickly takes Naruto's mind off of his worries, replacing them with a spark on interest. Voices can be heard in the distance, and they sound oddly familiar. Heading in that direction, Ebisu nearly tumbles to the ground as Naruto races off. What mysteries shall the next group reveal?

**Cuba: Huzzah!  
Neji: Huzzah?  
Cuba: Huzzah~  
Ebisu: *sweatdrop*  
Cuba: Well, second chapter is finally complete, much to my contentment! My favourite part is coming up in a few chapters here –chapter 4 to be exact!  
Kiba: *grumbles* of course _you_ like that part…  
Cuba: It's not _my_ fault that I've always loved the M-  
Sasuke: *glares*  
Cuba: *sighs* Well, please stay tuned for more!**


	4. Directions for the Blind

As the duo near the source of the commotion, the volume increases and the words become clearer. Even if one attempted to string together the words spoken, it would only leave them dumbstruck with confusion –it made absolutely no sense! Even more curious, Naruto increases his pace, leaving an exhausted Ebisu clinging to his shoulder in desperation. As the kitsune races in one direction, a blur of crimson saunters past him in the other. The voices that the blond had been trailing appeared to be linked to the blur.

"Perhaps we should ask…-_it _what's going on?" the mouse enquired, his eyes trailing the movement of the odd stranger. Their form is difficult to distinctively make out, but one can venture a guess. Other than the signal of red that gives off the colour of their clothing, they appear to be porting a dress of some sorts; one that falls well at their knees. Raven hair rivets down from the tops of their head, cutting off just below their ears. Even as it would only be logical for the stranger to be female, they obviously lacked the proper curves and they gave off a more masculine air. Thus born the ambiguous it!

"All taken into account, even if the being is odd, I've never seen anyone run quite as swiftly," Ebisu remarked. Confusion reflected in his eyes as it appeared as though the figure was pacing.

"I know, it's kind of amazing! I mean, the only one who I've ever seen run like that was…" the boy's name got caught on Alice's tongue, and the realization weighed down upon him like a ton of bricks. I mean, it's bad enough that he wears that hideous jumpsuit, but a _dress? _Does he not have pride as a man?* Even though the kitsune knows that he'll regret it, he calls out the name of that certain individual…-and the ambiguous one begins to slow to a halt.

As stated above he possessed hair of ebony and a dress of crimson. The top clings to his torso –almost_ too_ tightly- and a full bodice falls in waves, cascading to his ankles. There are no distinct designs other than the multiple changing of shades. A golden crown is perched lop-sided atop his head, it strongly resembling a queen from that of a game of chess. Rubies were set in, causing the crown to seem almost too expensive for anyone one being to afford.

"My friends, I am quite relieved to see that you are doing well!" a wide smile stretches across the youth's lips, and a thumbs up is exposed. Everything was fine for the raven-haired boy until he took note of the reactions of his comrades.

Naruto is doubled over on the ground, and he appears to be in immense pain. His head hung down, and his eyes were focused intently upon the stray grass before him. All colour is flushed from his face. Ebisu on the other hand is laying face up, having been knocked off of the kitsune's shoulder. He appears to be knocked out cold, and one can depict a slight trace of blood –whether he fell unconscious from the impact of the fall, or something else, we can only venture a guess. Lee is watching all of this play out with confusion clear on his face.

Seconds play out into minutes, and the youth's patience begins to wear thin. He quietly and quickly bids adieu, and he prepares himself to continue on his leisurely stroll with a gleam on sadness within his gaze. At least, that's what he was planning to do until rigid fingers securely laced themselves around his ankle. He looks down and meets the icy gaze of the flushed kitsune.

"Why the hell are you wearing a bloody dress?" the blonde's voice rises to such a degree that it drags Ebisu back to reality. A blush tints the mouse's cheeks, but no one's paying him any heed. The ambiguous one replies to the question with a sickly sweet grin.

"Why, I am the Red Queen of course, so this is only proper!" He takes a hold of the skirt with dainty fingers and begins t dance around the scene. "I feel so pretty! Do you not feel the same, Naruto, in being Alice?" Even as all of these words part from his lips, the real meaning of Lee's response is that _he wants to embrace his femininity, and is using this role as an excuse to do so._ Alice nearly retches in retort. Lee quickly ends his charade, fixating his gaze upon the queasy blond. "Now I remember the script! You've found me, so you're obviously hoping for directions!" As the boy brings his hands together in a sort of clap, Naruto's worry begins to fall into the midst of confusion.

"As long as you continue on from here you will eventually reach with the Mad Hatter, or the March Hare –visit either you like, for both of them are mad!" In response Alice mutters something beneath his breath that can be vaguely translated to _aren't you all?_ Lee takes no note of this and continues on. "If you manage to get past them (and not fall mad yourself), you will reach the entrance of a dark forest. You may or may not have difficulties entering," as he says this, Lee does a double-take of Naruto, "it all depends on those who welcome you." A sigh of pure bliss parts from the 'Queen's' lips, and shiver runs up the blonde's spine.

With a snap of his fingers, the mouse drags Lee back to reality. The raven-haired male clears his throat and continues on with a blush staining his cheeks. "Continue on through there if you are allowed passage and you will reach a fork in the road as time passes. The rest from there is up to you!" The youth stands tall as if he just gave the duo miraculous advice.

"Why the hell do I need to know all of that crap?" Naruto's hides his confusion by clearly portraying anger in its stead. Lee's smile falters if only for a moment, than his ears perk up, almost as if he hears something. In turn Alice attempts to listen, but clearly hears nothing. None the less, whatever he has heard leads the youth to bow a multitude of times.

"It was wonderful talking to you both, and I wish you the best of luck. Now I must be off –running twice as fast!" With that the Queen gathers up their skirt and takes off at an extremely fast pace, leaving both Naruto and Ebisu behind in a cloud of dust. Before the blond even has the opportunity to cry out and complain, a blood curdling shriek rings through the air.

"Where _are_ they? God, late as usual! Whatever, chop of someone's head –I don't care who's, just choose _someone_- in the next several minutes. Without them I need _some_ form of entertainment!" the female's voice was on the verge of both anger and giddiness. I for one did not wish to even wish to venture a guess on why. Naruto on the other hand seemed perplexed by the situation, and interested to find out more.

"Who the hell is that woman? Who does she think she is going around to kill whoever the hell she wants? When I find her, I'm going to beat her into a bloody pulp –believe it!" the kitsune's motivational speech seemed to set Ebisu into unease, who was quickly begging for the blond to not do anything, _senseless _or_ stupid_.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," yet another new figures comes across the blonde's path, his eyes gleaming like emeralds. Those very eyes are outlined in a heavy black, a clear indicator of one's lack of sleep. Sandy red head is ruffled upon his head, the mess falling just below his ears. Perched atop of that mess is a simple crown, one made completely out of silver except from one ruby inserted into the piece in the shape of a heart. His attire is pretty simple: it's a longer robe of both tan and crimson. He appears to be standing tall, though a bit uncomfortable as he keeps looking behind him. No gourd is strapped upon the boy's back. A smile instantly weaves its way onto the kitsune's lips, seeing as he knows (and is on relatively good terms with) the figure that stands before him.

"Gaara! Thank God that there's someone more normal he- what's with the crown?" Upon mentioning the object, Gaara gently brushing his fingertips against the polished surface.

"This? I guess it's because people refer to me as king in this place**..." Upon hearing the response Naruto can't help but gape. _First Kazekage and now a king? What's with this guy and his freakish luck? _Before Naruto has the chance to rant, something else captures his attention.

Two figures –both blurs of white –race on by as the 'King of Wonderland' continues his conversation. Naruto's curiosity gets the best of him as his eyes stalk the memorable figure of Kakashi and the unknown one of the companion by his side. Their conversation is a flurry of whispers, a few words being heard something such as _it burns! _and _just keep running! _With an gentle cough, Gaara attempts to drag Naruto back into the conversation.

"As I was saying before, I wouldn't threaten the Queen if I were you. She has a terrible temper, and she won't hesitate to execute you on the spot," _especially you..._ the young red head includes to himself. Naruto appears to be unaffected by this speech.

"So what? I bet her bark's way worst than her bite!" a light chuckle escapes from her lips. _I now have a destination!_ Upon thinking those five simple words with pride, an idea finally dawns upon the blond. Maybe this is what Lee was talking about? Maybe he was telling me how to get to the castle!

"Don't worry about me, Gaara! I'll save from that bit- where'd he go?" Alice quickly scanned the landscape for the male whom he'd just been conversing with, but it was to no avail –the young male was gone from sight. "That's defiantly something that he would do..." the blond grumbled, annoyed with having been left on his own once more. That is, until laughter erupts from the distance. His ears perk and a smile forms on his lips.

"Alright! Sounds like someone's having a party!" And with that, Naruto races off towards he sound.

_It'll be a party you'll never forget...-a tea party, that is. _Gaara rest his back upon one of the many trees in this fast forest, his eyes slowly drooping to a close. He knew that the chance of sleep was near impossible, but it was nice to give his eyes a break from the scenery. A rare smile finds its way onto the boy's lips. Yes, this will definitely be an interesting change to Wonderland –a change that we all need...

* * *

**Disclaimer: All Naruto characters (sadly) belong to Mashi Kishimoto. As for the whole idea of Wonderland, that credit goes to Lewis Carroll.**

**Author's Note: So here's my third chapter –finally! I apologize for the wait, but I'm so relieved to have finally been given the time to both write and post this piece! I would really appreciate any comments, questions or concerns that you may have relating to the story or/and my writing style. I would love to hear from you all! I believe that this is a weaker written chapter, so if y'all could help me with any errors or annoyances that you find...**

**Note: As I later looked back upon this, I began to remember that Naruto actually likes the jumpsuit; Gai gave it to him sometime during the ark where the Naruto and Pervy Sage look for Tsunade. Thank you Jiraya for not allowing him to wear that ridiculous jumpsuit (though that's as much praise as I'll give him)! In this text, he appears to think its ugly, and I was too lazy to change it.**

***: Being a hypocrite isn't he? Making fun of Lee's male pride even as he himself is wearing a dress…  
**: I do not approve of the pairing of the King of Hearts (Gaara) and the Queen –you'll understand why if/when you read far enough.**


End file.
